Friday, April 16, 2010

I Was This Close

Have you ever traveled for miles, and then you are as close as 5 minutes from the person that you really want to meet all this while, and you didn't? well I have. Last night.

Damn, what happened?

Well i can only say,

I fucked up.


Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Why am I writing like a teacher?

I know more and more that it’s hard to be an educator. It is a responsibility that must be carried on our shoulders, and not everyone can carry this burden. Some maybe able and willing but their destiny is not in this field. For us who had been chosen to be here, we have no choice other than to carry out this responsibility in the best way that we can.

Choices – this is what teaching is mostly about. It is true that the syllabus has been readied for us to follow. But what we bring in class, the choice is ours to make. What we want the students to understand, the choice is ours to make. Whether we want to teach only the surface or deep to the roots, the choice is also ours to make.

We must remember, what we choose, we must consider. Yes, I did write about considering things associated to our students, but remember, we have a life too. Not dedicated is bad, really bad. More dedication towards our profession is good. Over dedicated is also not appropriate. It’s our choice to be which. And it’s soothing to know that we made a right choice, considering all the things that we might affect. But there’s one thing, isn’t making choices is the hardest thing to do in life?

We can never say that we made the right choice until we took it. And time will tell whether what we did is right or wrong. As teachers, the future is in our hands, and choices are as difficult as choosing between life and death. Well, what we have to do is to pray, that the choices that we’ve made and the choices that we will make are the right ones.

How do I choose to end this entry? Well, I choose to end it with a smile. *Smile. :)


Eyes Wide Open

I realized something, my eyes are now looking at perspectives wider than before. There were a lot of things that I have learnt and acquire in order to prepare myself for the future that awaits me in more or less a year – when I will be posted to one of the schools anywhere in this country.

Before this, I thought that an English teacher do simple things such as playing games with words and ask students to answer questions based on the text given. Well, I thought wrong. Teachers have a lot to do in class, teachers can do a lot in class, teachers have to prepare a lot before they start one day in school.

Methods in teaching students vary a lot from a teacher to another. This variation does not only depend on the teachers themselves, but there are a lot of other things to be considered. The students, time, school, administration, environment, communities, culture, and a lot more to list, all this must be considered before a teacher prepares a lesson plan.

And the steps that the teachers had taken did not always end in success. Surprisingly, they often turn out unsuccessful. Why? Because from 40 students, can we guarantee that half of them are able to inhale even half of what we are trying to deliver to them? Think about it.

There’s nothing easy in being someone called “teacher”. So whoever took this profession thinking that they will be working for only half-day and enjoying the rest of it, then think again.

Think again for another one thousand times. Can you smile now?



Remembering an incident in class, I said a sentence that sounds somewhat like this, “No wonder this writing got marginalized, the writer writes about stones, hills, trees, birds and other animals that talk. I don’t mind if they speak about interesting things, but what they talk about is simply stupid. The whole story is stupid.”

When I think back about what I said, I think I should not have said that. Different people have different opinions and different opinions set different interpretation for stupidity. Maybe for me it’s stupid, but for the writer and the people whom he wrote it for, it maybe a very sacred story. Or maybe it’s a very humorous story, in their point of view.

And that’s the problem for most of us nowadays. We don’t respect others, their opinions, and their cultures. What we think about is mainly ourselves. If we look at some people with some strange clothes or accessories or way of life, we quickly come to conclusions such as these people are “uncivilized”, “weirdos”, “orthodox”, or “strange” without knowing that those things maybe normal for them.

For most of us, the “strange” things that we see in other cultures are weird, simply because we are not used to it. That’s why we often say what I said in class that day. “Stupid” things are not stupid just because we say they’re stupid. Sometimes, those things are not even close to stupid.

Without knowledge, we simply say that something is stupid. The question is, are we that good?