Tomorrow, It'll be 5 years since I first met her for the first time, and it still felt like it was yesterday. All the memories still remain in my little mind, the laughs and the cries that we went through together. The sweat and tears that we shed, the smiles and the winks, all are still intact in my memory.
Those were the nicer days, but not now. And how is now actually? Yes, i know she's really happy right now but not with me. There she is smiling all day long, and I kept on thinking why does this happen to me. It's fine if this happens because I played or fooled around with her, but I did not. For me, It was serious. Even till the end.
The things that had happened and the things that she did to me, well, there's no means for me to prevent that because that's what she wanted. I really hated the fact that the person I love with my whole heart did those things to me, and yes, I really despise what she did. But deep inside, I cannot hide the truth that my love towards her is still as hard as "kerikil". But this moment and after, my remaining love towards her does not mean anything anymore. To her, and even to me.
I had never loved someone else like I loved her. And I'm not sure if I could. But I hope I could.
Forgiving is very hard, what more to forget.
So I'm doing neither.
I'm not ready to forgive, and I know that I'll never forget.
But I know that I have to move on.